I Had a Epiphany Today

[Mike]

Shortly after lunch today I was walking toward a Walmart store when I observed a very tall, very old woman exit her car and, with the help of her cane, start slowly shuffling toward the store entrance. I mention at this point that she was Black, as were the other women in my story, only because it is important to my story.

I really didn't see how she was going make it to the store so I grabbed a shopping cart and headed her way with the intent of offering her the cart so she would have something to hang on to and maybe not fall. I got to her at about the same time another woman came to her aid and took a defensive posture toward me as if I was going to hurt the old woman. After asking the old woman if she would like to have the cart to hold onto, the second woman's tension dropped and both she and the old woman were appreciative of my gesture. I then offered to go get one of the motorized scooters the store offers, but the old woman would have nothing to do with that. At that point, a couple of other women came storming in like I was assaulting the old woman and I walked away before anything farther was said.

Once inside the store, I alerted the door greeter of the very old Black lady in the parking lot who might need help, and the greeter knew her by name, Pearl, as a frequent shopper who always refuses the scooter. I went on about my shopping and was suddenly struck with my epiphany - why did I refer to the woman in the parking lot as an "old Black woman"? Why not just an "old woman"? Had the woman been White, would I have referred to her as an "old White woman"? I think not, the words don't roll off of my tongue.

Thinking more, I have reached the conclusion that this was an unconscious racial slur. I had no intention or desire to do that, hell, I went to help the woman after all. I'm thinking this is the product of growing up in the South during the '50s and '60s when racism was rampant in everything in life. I'm thinking it lies just under the surface in an unconscious area of my mind. I don't like it!

[Truckman]

I know I am overly sensitive to being called racist simply because of my regional beginnings...I think it has been exacerbated by those of other races being verbally and physically downtrodden, not necessarily by those of different skin colors, but by a media which glorifies itself for championing "minorities" to increase sales...

People are just people to me...Think what you like......Ben

[Kevin]

Maybe it was unconscious racism.

It could also just be giving the person you were speaking to enough information to easily identify the subject. You WERE a cop, after all. Height, weight, hair color, clothing - and skin color - to ID someone are all probably second nature to you. It is good to think about it but not so good to overthink it, Officer Hardin.

[Sandman]

We all do it.. it’s just something that was ingrained in us from an early age.. both, helping all people and also referring to people in specific terms.. part of our ingrained training was not to identify old white ladies because the description would be so unflattering; IE, watch for the old lady with the big nose..

you are learning, progressing.. ya didn’t say Colored..

[Mike]

Maybe it was unconscious racism.

It could also just be giving the person you were speaking to enough information to easily identify the subject. You WERE a cop, after all. Height, weight, hair color, clothing - and skin color - to ID someone are all probably second nature to you. It is good to think about it but not so good to overthink it, Officer Hardin.

Thinking about it, you are probably right, Kevin. I do tend to refer to both victims and actors by their physical descriptors, training and use die a slow death.

[Kevin]

I can see you introducing me at some Ratfest -

"Hey, everyone! Meet Kevin! He's 6'1", 240, white and blue, somewhere in his 60s, scars on both legs, no tatts!!!"

[Dave Grubb]

I would often think and speak in the same way---and for some reason I had to pull myself back and ask myself why I thought it important to include race, ethnicity or color in a person's description. I think my NYC experience led to that. The NY metropolitan area is, for the most part, color/race blind. That combined with the reality of saying "black" or "Latino or the generic "Mexican" did little to add to anyone's description---you might have more value added by referring to someone as "white"

My wife still falls victim to this. I credit her father for that. He was a bigot through and through. He had Mexican field workers---I never heard him speak of them by name---they were just all Mexicans. He built "housing" for them----concrete block tiny two room houses----right against the RR ROW----I am sure there was not another place he thought they should be

I do have to offer him credit----he was truly an equal opportunity bigot---unless you were a blue eyed male of Germanic decent you were of limited value