i do apologize...

[Flaco]

my dad, may he rest, was full of these...welll......i call them limericks, but they do not fit the exact definition. i have no idea who to credit for the original versions....might have been my dad?? but ahhh....this ermm.... "fine" cough, cough...example has been in my head all day. and me in my gracious wizdumb am going to share

without further ado.......

mary had a pocket watch
she swallowed it one day
the doctor gave her castor oil
to "pass" the time away
the castor oil did not work
the time it did not "pass"
so if you want to know the time of day
just look up mary's......


brother, he has a wrist watch!

[Flaco]

sadly another....

mary mary quite contrary
how does your garden grow?
with silver bells
and cockle shells,
and only one damn petunia!!



dare i continue?

there once was a man from boston
who drove around in an auston
he had room for his ass
and a gallon of gas
but his bal(censored for those that want it )s hung out
and he lost 'em

[Truckman]

Booo...Hissss......

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I’ve seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

...Ben

[Mike]

I like your dad! I wish I could have met him.

[Phillbo]

There once was a man named Dave ....... I bet flaco knows the rest

[Flaco]

There once was a man named Dave ....... I bet flaco knows the rest

is he the one that was dirty and gritty and had to get used to the smell?

[Dave Grubb]

...and then there was a man from Nantucket
Who had........

...and there was a man from Belair
who was .........his wife on the stair
when the banister broke ....
..............................
and he finished her off in midair.

moving on:

A wonderful bird is the pelican,

His bill holds more than his belican.

He can take in his beak,

Enough food for a week,

But I'm damned if I see how the helican

[Phillbo]

is he the one that was dirty and gritty and had to get used to the smell?

Nope... he lived in a cave.

[Dave Grubb]

I'm pretty sure you are both talking about the same Dave.

Dave was cheap---look at all the money he'll save

[Flaco]

yup, dave is right about dave

[Flaco]

there was a young fellow from belfast
that I wanted so badly to tell fast
not to climb up the stair
as the top step was not there
and that’s why the young fellow fell fast.

[UTAH]

In my opinion, our members in this thread have demonstrated extraordinary competence in limericks. It's not a perfect fit, yet it is beyond satisfying.

Hunter