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Thread: Sad but true

  1. #1
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    Sad but true

    Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

    The first surgeon, from New York, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

    The second, from Chicago, responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside them is color coded."

    The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, "No, I really think librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

    The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles, chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few pieces left over."

    But the fifth surgeon, from Washington DC, shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable."
    "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity, an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty” ---Sir Winston Churchill
    "Political extremism involves two prime ingredients: an excessively simple diagnosis of the world's ills, and a conviction that there are identifiable villains back of it all." ---John W. Gardner
    “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” ---C. S. Lewis

  2. #2
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    As an ex-mechanic I would agree with Surgeon #5, but as an ex-gun dealer I'm just shooting my mouth off......Ben
    The future is forged on the anvil of history...The interpreter of history wields the hammer... - Unknown author...

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Truckman View Post
    As an ex-mechanic I would agree with Surgeon #5, but as an ex-gun dealer I'm just shooting my mouth off......Ben
    Very cleaver
    "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity, an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty” ---Sir Winston Churchill
    "Political extremism involves two prime ingredients: an excessively simple diagnosis of the world's ills, and a conviction that there are identifiable villains back of it all." ---John W. Gardner
    “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” ---C. S. Lewis

  4. #4
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    In my mind I see a Mr. Potato Head with all the removable body parts.

    So, I looked up Mr. Potato Head on Amazon. I figured I'd see if they are still making and selling them. Yep, for as low as $5 each.

    Hunter
    I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul. - Creep by Radiohead

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by UTAH View Post
    I looked up Mr. Potato Head on Amazon. I figured I'd see if they are still making and selling them. Yep, for as low as $5 each.

    Hunter
    I bought a Magic 8 Ball on Amazon for $9.98 just for all the obnoxious morons at the gun shows that tell me they have a gun that looks just like mine only much better at home, and how much do you think you would give me for it...Now I just tell them to ask the 8 Ball......Ben

    The future is forged on the anvil of history...The interpreter of history wields the hammer... - Unknown author...

  6. #6
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    I like it.


    Hunter
    I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul. - Creep by Radiohead

  7. #7
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    I do too!
    The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible - Arthur C. Clarke

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by UTAH View Post
    I like it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mike View Post
    I do too!
    Not everyone accepts my stab at humor in the same spirit...Some think my only purpose in absorbing $350 in expenses, and spending upwards of 25 hours on a weekend to display $100,000 worth of my property is strictly to let the public coonfinger guns they can't see anywhere else while asking questions that can't be answered...This weekend the fifteenth guy who asked me what I thought his grandpa's old army revolver in his sock drawer at home might be worth got all upset when I tried to hand him the 8 Ball for consultation...He told me I was being rude since he had paid $10 to get in the door...I apologized for my stupidity, and directed him to the guy in the far corner handing out beef jerky samples who was an expert on old Army revolvers...

    And he walked away without even thanking me......Ben
    The future is forged on the anvil of history...The interpreter of history wields the hammer... - Unknown author...

  9. #9
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    Now that is funny

    I used to overhear those sublimely stupid questions at gun shows ---and they even moved from show to show.

    I wonder if they have a "stupid question" school for those folks. It sure as heck argues against the old adage that the only stupid question is the one not asked
    "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity, an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty” ---Sir Winston Churchill
    "Political extremism involves two prime ingredients: an excessively simple diagnosis of the world's ills, and a conviction that there are identifiable villains back of it all." ---John W. Gardner
    “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” ---C. S. Lewis

  10. #10
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    I had an 8-ball in my last office that I'd sarcastically use to respond to stupid questions with. About once a month I'd hold it and say, "Let's use this to answer your question."

    Hunter
    I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul. - Creep by Radiohead

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