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Thread: Catholic humor..

  1. #16
    Join Date
    11-22-03
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    In the Village...
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    A buxom young lass entered mass one morning wearing a provocative sheer blouse...The priest approached her and admonished her for wearing such attire...She responded "But father, I have a divine right"...He responded "You also have a divine left, but that blouse is not appropriate!"......Ben
    The future is forged on the anvil of history...The interpreter of history wields the hammer... - Unknown author...

  2. #17
    Join Date
    10-22-01
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    Being the guy in the middle ain't all bad

    Let me lay a foundation for this one: My Mennonite Mother did not like Catholics----until my wife came along That said, my Mother was about as straight-laced as you could imagine---but she loved this story which she told many times with a practiced Irish brogue.

    There were two old ladies sitting in the pew one hot Saturday morn---waiting to go to confession. The church doors were blocked open but nary a breeze blew in. They were both dressed in thin loose fitting dresses in surrender to the heat. As they chatted in wait, the door of the confessional flew open. A teenage lass emerged and ran out on the church lawn where she began turning summersaults.

    As the two old ladies looked on, one remarked to the other:

    "I begorrah, would ya be lookin at what Father be passin out for penitence and me with no drawers on!
    "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity, an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty” ---Sir Winston Churchill
    "Political extremism involves two prime ingredients: an excessively simple diagnosis of the world's ills, and a conviction that there are identifiable villains back of it all." ---John W. Gardner
    “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” ---C. S. Lewis

  3. #18
    Join Date
    08-05-05
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    Never take only one Baptist fish with you. He will drink all your beer....

  4. #19
    Join Date
    10-14-01
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    Jews don’t recognize Jesus,


    Protestants don’t recognize the Pope, and
    Baptists don’t recognize one another in the liquor store.
    The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible - Arthur C. Clarke

  5. #20
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    08-05-05
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    There is proof Mary had PMS...

    She rode Josephs ass all the way to Bethlehem.....

  6. #21
    Join Date
    10-21-01
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    nepa mountains
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phillbo View Post
    There is proof Mary had PMS...

    She rode Josephs ass all the way to Bethlehem.....
    almost spit my coors on that one
    it's time to change the air in my head

  7. #22
    Join Date
    10-30-01
    Location
    Salt Lake City
    Posts
    27,194
    Mmm... Coors. Me like.

    Hunter
    I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul. - Creep by Radiohead

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