Another shameless theft...

[Flaco]

lots of garder and grass snakes around me. a few black snakes too. the only ones that bother me are the rattlers. i have had them 10 feet from my back steps! i like the rattlers best breaded and fried.

[Honda]

Rat snakes and the king snakes are the bomb. They are excellent at taking out small pests.

[Truckman]

Rat snakes and the king snakes are the bomb. They are excellent at taking out small pests.

A snake is a snake, although I won't begrudge them a full stomach of rats before dying......Ben

[UTAH]

When we lived in Cameron Park, Ca, we'd go on rattlesnake hunts, catch them, then put them down our gopher holes.

Hunter

[Truckman]

A farmer drove over to his neighbor’s house and knocked on the door.
A boy, about 9, opened the door.
“Is your mom or dad home?” The farmer asked the boy
“No, they went in to town.” The boy replied
“Well, how about your brother Howard?” The farmer asked
“No, he went with mom and dad.” The boy said
The farmer stood there for a minute shifting from one foot to another and mumbling when the boy says
“I know where the tools are if you need to borrow one or I could give my dad a message for you.”
“Well,” The farmer said uncomfortably “I wanted to talk to your dad about your brother Howard getting my daughter pregnant.”
The boy thought for a moment then said
“You’ll have to talk to my dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard.”

Boooo...Hisss......Ben

[Dave Grubb]

It seems that over the years that I have heard this slanderous story about Howard his father has not enjoyed any benefit from inflation---the price stays the same

[Mike]

Perhaps Howard doesn't inflate well....

[Dave Grubb]

Perhaps Howard doesn't inflate well....

I guess we would have to check with "the farmer's daughter" to get her opinion on that

[Sandman]

Guy on the Texas Game Warden show once said that there are two categories of snakes.. dead snakes and snakes that he hasn't met yet.

[Mike]

Guy on the Texas Game Warden show once said that there are two categories of snakes.. dead snakes and snakes that he hasn't met yet.

Texas Law is the name of the show, it's one of my favorites on the rare occasion I watch television.

I feel sure that wasn't a game warden saying that.

[Truckman]

An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

"Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?"

The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

...Ben

[Sandman]

Texas Law is the name of the show, it's one of my favorites on the rare occasion I watch television.

I feel sure that wasn't a game warden saying that.

I’m pretty sure it was one of the other characters..

It never ceases to amaze me how the people lie to the wardens and expect to get away with it… “I left my license in the car”..

[Truckman]

On the last day of school before the Christmas break, the children brought gifts for their teacher.


The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.


The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers


The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.


Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit..


She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.


"Oh my goodness; is it wine?" she guessed.


"No," the boy replied.


She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?”


"No," said the little boy, "It's a puppy."

Yes, it's true...I have no shame......Ben

[Dave Grubb]

Yes, it's true...I have no shame......Ben

No need to put that in writing Ben---most of us had come to that realization on our own

[Truckman]

No need to put that in writing Ben---

They say realization and admission of a problem is the first step to recovery...Try it sometime, Dave...It's so cleansing......Ben