A mystery for Joe to chew on...

[Truckman]

I wonder if, just possibly, a precious metal dealer we both know might have some knowledge of this mysterious event

As a precious metals industrialist, I disavow all knowledge of what may or may not have become of this 546.3 pound object made of aluminum which wholesales this week for 19.7 cents per pound...I further know nothing of whether this object could be secured and/or shrouded on a nine foot flatbed mounted on a powerful and reliable Dodge/Cummins cab and chassis......Ben

[Dave Grubb]

As a precious metals industrialist, I disavow all knowledge of what may or may not have become of this 546.3 pound object made of aluminum which wholesales this week for 19.7 cents per pound...I further know nothing of whether this object could be secured and/or shrouded on a nine foot flatbed mounted on a powerful and reliable Dodge/Cummins cab and chassis......Ben

You sound as if you are planning on running for political office soon

[Truckman]

You sound as if you are planning on running for political office soon

As President-elect Phillbo can tell you, I prefer to remain behind the scenes as collection agent and kingmaker......Ben

[Dave Grubb]

I can understand---obviously you have mastered the story line

[FredK]

I can understand---obviously you have mastered the story line

And I hear Ben's hired Rudy as a standby attorney after his gig with the Don.

[Dave Grubb]

And I hear Ben's hired Rudy as a standby attorney after his gig with the Don.

I would not bet that rudy doesn't have another gig in his future

[Truckman]

Instead of misdirecting blame for this nefarious caper on an innocent profession such as the precious metals industry, the truth might be found by closely examining the latest clues:

"The thing was filthy from people touching it," he said. "I attempted to wipe it down, but it's like the handprints were frozen to it and from a donut glaze or something."

The donut glaze is an important clue as precious metals industrialists are well known for avoiding poor dietary habits such as the sugar coated lardballs known as glazed donuts...However donuts are known to be a diet staple of other professions such as police officers, even those who manage to stay skinny as a rail during their careers...I propose that is far likelier to locate the culprit among recently retired law enforcement officers who now hide behind the façade of being gentleman longhorn ranchers...

Such a monolith could be easily converted into a high-tech watering trough for pet cattle...However care should be exercised when investigating these devious suspects as they are known to have gorgeous doe-eyed daughters on the premises who, although innocent looking, are to be approached with caution because they are consistently armed with Glock pistols, and have no reservations about shooting first then not bothering to ask questions......Ben

[Mike]

Huh? Did someone mention "donuts"?

[Phillbo]

Leave it to a cop