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Thread: New Christmas songs on the chopping block

  1. #16
    Join Date
    10-21-01
    Location
    Columbia, S.C.
    Posts
    14,620
    I said to myself; "SELF!" "What in the world did Phillbo mean?" HISTORY!

    https://reallifemag.com/cold-discovery/
    This is your mind on drugs!

  2. #17
    Join Date
    08-05-05
    Location
    Deep inside the Central Scrutinizer.
    Posts
    21,024
    It Snowed Last Night..

    8:00 am: I made a snowman.

    8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

    8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

    8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

    8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

    8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

    8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

    8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

    8:30 - I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.

    8:37 - Accused of using black face on the snowman...snowpersons.

    8:39 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .

    8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended.

    8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

    8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

    8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

    9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

    9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

    9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.

    9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media.

    10:00 - I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman...

    Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.

  3. #18
    Join Date
    10-14-01
    Location
    TEXAS!
    Posts
    14,571
    The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible - Arthur C. Clarke

  4. #19
    Join Date
    10-21-01
    Location
    Columbia, S.C.
    Posts
    14,620
    I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs"
    This is your mind on drugs!

  5. #20
    Join Date
    10-20-03
    Posts
    15,885
    Good one Bo

  6. #21
    Join Date
    05-01-11
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    2,134
    Yo Bo, Just so you know. I'm stealing that one.

  7. #22
    Join Date
    11-14-01
    Location
    Apache Junction, AZ
    Posts
    25,675
    Yo Bo. Great one.
    Fred

    "Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've
    stayed alive."

    'Take care of yourself, and each other.'

  8. #23
    Join Date
    08-05-05
    Location
    Deep inside the Central Scrutinizer.
    Posts
    21,024
    Its sad that it's true....

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