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Thread: Todays funny, non political

  1. #1
    Join Date
    10-20-03
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    15,885

    Todays funny, non political

    Lawyers should never ask a Texas grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Texas small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
    The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
    She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
    youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
    The defense attorney nearly died.
    The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
    'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.....

  2. #2
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    08-05-05
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    Good one.

  3. #3
    Wannabe is offline Nov 5, 1946 - Nov 19, 2018
    A Friend Who Will be Missed.
    May He Rest In Peace
    Join Date
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    The Truth may set you free, but it can also complicate things a bit.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    10-21-01
    Location
    San Antonio, Tx.
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    At that point I asked to be excused.
    ...............
    “You can vote your way into socialism, but you have to shoot your way out.” — Too fundamental to have an attribution


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