You gotta laugh

...it's still better than crying:rolleyes2:

1. The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.

2. I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.

3. 2019: Stay away from negative people.
2020: Stay away from positive people.

4. The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

5. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog. It was obvious she thought her dog understood her. I came into my house & told my cat. We laughed a lot.

6. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

7. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?

8. This virus has done what no woman has been able to do. Cancel sports, shut down all bars & keep men at home!

9. I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

10. I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

11. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard. I’m getting tired of the Living Room.

12. Appropriate analogy. "The curve is flattening so we can start lifting restrictions now” is like saying “The parachute has slowed our rate of descent, so we can take it off now.”

13. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask & asking for money.

14. The spread of COVID-19 is based on 2 things:
1. How dense the population is
2. How dense the population is

15. I will stay up late this New Years Eve. Not to see 2021 come in, but to be sure this year leaves!

16. I grew up with Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now there’s no Jobs, no Cash and no Hope. Please don’t let anything happen to Kevin Bacon!

17. Just sold my homing pigeon on Ebay… for the 22nd time!

18. Quarantine Day???? Today, I melted an ice cube with my mind just by staring at it. It took a lot longer than I thought it would.

19. Due to my isolation, I finished 3 books yesterday and, believe me, that’s a lot of coloring.

20. What did our parents do to kill boredom before the Internet? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters, and they didn’t know either.

Thanks, I needed that!

Anyone else notice that Jake from State Farm turned black overnight about 4 months ago?

No---but my world has made me color blind.

Those are just what we need. Thanks, Dave.